We're facebook friends in real life
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
