Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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