Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Holy sore nipples Batman
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
