hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
