never play flip cup with pint glasses
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
