Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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