bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
