Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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