New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
