Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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