Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
