when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
