Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
