ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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