How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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