At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
