I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
