its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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