I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
