I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
