you would pick up someone in the library
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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