Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
