Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
