You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Fuck appropriateness.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
