He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
