It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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