I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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