so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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