I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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