i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
