I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
