you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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