I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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