O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
