I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
