Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
