names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
