Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
