i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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