I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
