Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
