Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
