i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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