I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
