I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
