? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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