She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
