problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
