You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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