i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
