Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
